Make the Jump!

I had a really cool experience that I thought I'd share:


I was sitting outside while on campus, attempting to study, when I looked up and saw a sweet interaction between a young boy, maybe 4 years old, and his dad. 

The little boy was having fun jumping off of a wall, into his dad's arms. I was amazed at the fearlessness of this little boy as he leaped off the 5ft wall and traveled easily 6ft forward in the air before being safely caught by his dad. This little boy knew without a doubt that his daddy would catch him and that he wouldn't let him fall. 

However, the next time the boy got up to take the leap, he stopped just before jumping and told his dad that it was too far and that he couldn't make it. His dad simply smiled and reassured the boy that he would catch him. Trusting in this, the boy jumped. He made the leap, without his dad having to move closer, though he had been hesitant just moments before. 

I thought about how similar this is to us as we go through this life. Sometimes, we are perfectly fine, we know we can make the jump and that we will be safe. However, at times the distance can seem too far and appears frightening. We say that we can't do it, and that we will never make it. But, our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we can do and He knows that we will be able to make it. He simply reassures us, and if we will look to Him, instead of focusing on the distance, that is all the encouragement we need. We have to trust that our Heavenly Father will always catch us, even if we can't quite make the full distance - He won't let us fall! If we take that leap of faith, trusting in our Father, we can accomplish more than we ever thought possible and become all that He knows we can be!!

Making Decisions: Asking IS Required!!

As some of you may or may not know, I have decided to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Shortly after my 19th birthday, I will be leaving for 18 months to serve wherever the Lord sends me. This decision was not made lightly or easily, in fact it has taken me a long time to come to this point, and I thought that I would share my story with you, so here goes:

Although it may be obvious, I was never one of the girls who knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were supposed to go on a mission and who had been planning on a mission for what seemed like forever. Though I had many friends who were like this, this wasn't me at all. However, I also wasn't one of the girls who was adamantly against a mission, and my story isn't one that starts with the words "I had never planned to go on a mission AT ALL, but now...."

Anyways, so I had never discounted the idea of going on a mission, but it wasn't a sure part of the plan, it just wasn't what I pictured happening in my life. But I left the door open, never dismissing the idea, just in case that was what the Lord had planned for me. So for the longest time, I was in the middle, not committed to a mission, but at the same time not against it at all. It's not that a mission wasn't considered, in fact it was something I considered a lot, and something that I pondered on, along with other general possibilities for my future. Probably every single night of my senior year that I knelt down to pray, my prayer would include the words "help me to know what thy plan is for me and what I should do with my life." Everyday I would ask this of my Heavenly Father, and everyday I would feel as if I wasn't getting a specific answer and that I still had no idea what I should be doing. As a person who likes having a plan and a person who knows that God has a plan for each of us, it actually became a source of anxiety for me, not knowing where I was supposed to go or what to do. So I just kept moving forward in the best possible way I knew.

Whenever anyone would ask me about my plans (which was often, it was senior year after all), and when they asked if my plans included a mission, my response every time was "Well, I'm not sure. I can't go for over a year anyways, so I'm going to college and then I'll figure it out." I was almost embarrassed to admit that I couldn't seem to get an answer to this seemingly basic question, especially when all of my friends around me seems to know exactly what they were doing for the next few years. All I could do was just keep on going, do what I hoped was the right thing.

Flash forward a few months. Here I am at BYU, a brand new freshman with no idea what my future held or what in the world I was doing. My supposedly perfect major was definitely not for me, and I had no idea what was. I was just going along, hoping that at some point, it would all click and I would know exactly what I was supposed to do. Then, an inspired bishop issues us a challenge that quite literally would change my life. Addressing the young women in my YSA ward, our bishop challenged us, through prayer and fasting, to find out what the Lord had in store for us, and in particular how that related to serving a mission. It didn't matter if our answer was to go on a mission, to stay at college, to not go on a mission, or whatever it was, we just needed to know.

After hearing this challenge, I resolved to finally decide if the Lord wanted me to serve a mission ofr not. Of course, as these things usually go, I went home and promptly forgot. A few weeks passed without me acting on this challenge, but as time went on, I found myself thinking more and more about finding out for myself. It also helped that several of my roommates had resolved to serve missions and it had become a common discussion heard in our apartment. Finally, I decided it was time for me to get my answer and that I was going to pray until I knew what to do.

As I knelt down to pray, preparing to recite my oft repeated words, "Help me to know what I should do with my life," something stopped me. Then I realized something. I had never asked!!!!! I had never knelt down and specifically asked about a mission! This came as a surprise, and I realized that this was, quite possibly, the cause of my apparent lack of answers. I wasn't asking the right question!

So that night I asked. I knelt down, and I asked if I was supposed to go on a mission in a clear, direct question. And the answer was yes! Actually it was more than a yes, it was almost as if the Spirt smacked me upside the head and was saying "well that took you long enough!" The power of that answer was more than enough to make up for a year of not knowing, especially when I realized that it was entirely my fault.

At this point, I planned to wait a few months before meeting with my bishop to start the application process, but that week as I sat in the temple, waiting to do baptisms of the dead, I was prompted to go and meet with my bishop. As soon as I left the temple, I set up a meeting with my bishop, and in that meeting, started my application to officially start me on my path towards a mission.

After I received my answer, I was about to look back with 20/20 hindsight on the past year of my life. I could see the Lord's hand in my life and how many clear signs their were that I was supposed to go on a mission. And I had missed every single one. But, I can also see that the Lord knew how stubborn and oblivious I would be, and set certain events in motion so that I would get to the point where I am.

In looking back, there were several clear signs that I should go. I started going to mission prep classes at the beginning of my senior year, mostly because I wanted to hear from Elder Holland (he gave a fireside that mission prep students got to go to). The first semester I barely attended, but the second semester, I resolved to go every week. I'm wasn't sure why, at that point I really could have just stopped going all together, but there was something about missionary work that my spirit was drawn to. In mission prep I would often find myself thinking things along the lines of, "wow, I really like teaching!" or, "It would be fun to teach real investigators!" and other little things like that, things that never really seemed like a big deal, but really were some subtle hints that I should go on a mission. My stake also put on a mini MTC, where we were paired up with full-time missionaries and lived a life in the day of a missionary. I really enjoyed it, and afterwards I even thought to myself, "I should go on a mission." I had that thought, clear as day, and it is apparent (now) that it did not come from me, but I allowed myself to rationalize myself out of it. I didn't tell anyone about this either, so the thought quickly left me and I forgot all about the experience. This was one of the not-so-subtle hints that the Lord gave me, though I obviously wasn't getting the message.

Luckily for me, the Lord doesn't give up that easily. Everything that has happened over the past year and a half has been leading me up to this point, and so many things have fallen into place (or fallen apart) that I know Heavenly Father was directing my path. A major factor from the very beginning were my friends. I had two best friends who I spent my entire senior year with, and both of them were very committed to going on missions (the first type of girl mentioned earlier). Being so close with them, the idea of a mission was quite frequently on my mind. They both are great examples to me of amazing missionaries who are committed to this gospel and they have helped me immensely along this journey.

Another important thing that I know the Lord was in charge of, was me attending Brigham Young University. BYU was not my first choice. Although I love BYU, I really wanted to attend Boston University. I was accepted into Boston, but ultimately did not get the scholarship I was hoping for, so I was unable to attend due to finances. BYU was my second choice, and it was not the end of the world to go the BYU, but I was pretty heartbroken that I wouldn't be able to go to Boston and do what I had really wanted. However, coming to BYU has been the absolute best thing for me. I love the environment here, and I have had so many opportunities that I know I needed, but that I wouldn't have gotten in Boston. I am able to go to the temple every week, and I am living and interacting with great people who share my same standards on a daily basis. I know that if I did not come to BYU I would not be planning on going on a mission right now.

Other things just lined up, such as my bishop issuing his challenge to us, and the assignment I received for my religion class, which made it so that I was more in tune with the Spirit than I had ever been before, right as I was making my decision. I also have consistently been drawn to missionary work (I'm one of those weird people who actually kinda likes role playing, just because I get to teach the gospel) and to teaching people about what I believe, which really has been preparing me for my mission for many years.

I have learned so many lessons from my journey to this point, and I imagine I will learn many more in the future. I have learned how important it is to ask the right questions, to listen for the many signs (both the subtle and not-so-subtle hints), and to tell someone or do something to act on the answer you receive before you forget!

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He is directing my life and guiding me to where I need to be, I just need to pay attention! I'm so grateful that He loves me enough not to give up on me, even when I am being stubborn or oblivious. I know that the Lord wants me on a mission and that there are people waiting for me to hear the message that I have to share with them. I am so excited for this journey that I am undertaking and I know that the Lord is right beside me, helping me along this path and shaping me into the person that He knows I can become.

I just want to end with a new favorite scripture of mine from the Book of Mormon:

"Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life." -3 Nephi 5:13